I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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