i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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