some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
