At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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