So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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