so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
