I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
