Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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