i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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