1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
