Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
