ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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