She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
