She announced her abortion via fbk
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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