u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
