help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
