she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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