More tranny stories later!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
