i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Randomize
