anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
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I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
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Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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