you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
