dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
