I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think your dad took our porno
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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