i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
