no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
