uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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