i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
