Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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