Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm just crazy horny about you
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
