She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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