Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
