I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
