margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
