Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
