I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
