fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
