My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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