I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
