why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
