I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
