Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
