I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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