I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Your penis caused this!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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