you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize