I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
