he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
