I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
