I wish life had little blips of pornography
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
