I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
