FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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