I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
A+ Viking dick
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize