I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
BRING THE BAGELS
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
