He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
