Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
