His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
