she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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