The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
