If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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