We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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