what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
