how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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