I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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